Secrets

Less than 15 days to go until the house goes on the market and it is a mess. Stuff in piles everywhere. I cannot bear to part with scrapbooking stuff. I have tons. There are 3 totes full in the basement, 3 in the pod, and one sitting at my feet. This does not include 2 scrapbook bags and the stuff in the green cabinent and more. Why this attachment to all this stuff?

I think I know the answer. I like to think of myself as an artist. I like to think I will create some great work of art that all the scrapbook mags will be clamoring for, but the truth is I will got to a crop and create minimialist pages. I get all kinds of great ideas at the store for what I could use this or that for...only to have them evaporate the minute I walk through my front door.

I just like to sift through my stuff dreaming of the possiblities. A masterpiece to be sure is in there waiting to be assembled. Somehow things never come together as I envisioned. So I stick to the safe linear style with minimal embellishment. I am what some in the 2Peas Pub would call Dull.

I am a gal that loves the possiblities and has trouble acting because chosing one path negates another. I have to have all the possiblities all the time. I can't pack things away, because I might need them for one of my circle journals or for a page I may want to create.

But on there is something that goes much deeper than that. I feel like I can't express myself. Letting out our secret would be disloyal and I am loyal to a fault. So I can't really create pages about the true us.

We have this depression thing in our house. Megan has anxiety. I have my shyness. We are weird. We live in the boonies in a neighborhood with no kids. Getting together with any of my friends or arranging play dates is just way too much effort and driving. So with this move I am trying to make up for something that I didn't know was important. I am hoping to get us more in the mainstream. I hope it's not too late. I hope we aren't the weird people in the new neightborhood.